Emotional Mastery - Part 1
Introduction
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a remote control to your emotions? Suppose you get fired from your job and feel really depressed and hopeless. You press a button and you feel at peace again, enthusiastic about the opportunity to find a better job. Suppose you fail a subject. Press a button and your feeling of rejection and shame vanishes, replaced by peace and a determination to succeed next time. Suppose someone ridiculed you. You press a button and you are back to feeling calm, cool and confident. Suppose you can just press a button and make you feel at peace, no matter what happens? Would you like that? If yes, read on to discover that remote control within you and how you can access it.
First of all, I would like to clarify two things. One, emotional mastery does not mean suppressing our emotions. It means being able to express them in a way which would provide you with optimal benefits. In fact, some emotions are healthy and necessary, like fear keeping us from jumping down mountains, and controlled anger which helps us to be assertive and positive stress which helps us push our limits and meet deadlines. This article is not meant for such emotions – it is purely meant for those emotions that cripple us and prevent us from giving our best. Like for example, fear of public speaking, uncontrollable bursts of rage and anger etc. Two, it is not easy. It takes time, and conscious effort. Having emotional mastery is a journey that will take a lot of patience and sustained effort, but the rewards of each simple step you take in this direction is extremely high compared to the effort you put in. Your relationships, decision making skills, rational thinking, state of mind, quality of life – everything stands to improve by mastering your emotional responses.
The article itself is divided into three parts – the first part, which is this one, serves as an introduction by giving an overall idea of emotional mastery and why it is something we can and should practice. The second section deals with realizing when we feel a particular emotion, which is the first step to control it. The third section deals with various techniques for actually achieving emotional mastery.
The right to feel good
The very first step is to realize that you have a right to feel good, no matter what happens around you. Just because such-and-such event occurred, it doesn’t mean you have to feel down, or depressed or angry. Just because everyone else in a particular situation has negative emotions does not mean you have to feel that way too. You can constantly choose to be in a state of peace and love and happiness, and there is no need for you to change that state for anyone or anything.
Some people want to feel bad. Ironic, yes, but they do. For example, some people simply do not allow themselves to return to a positive mindset after a break-up. Sometimes they mistakenly imagine their partner would come back to them, if only they would show them how much shattered they are. Sometimes they feel guilty in feeling good and keep wallowing in sorrow. They resist every attempt from everyone else in trying to cheer them up. Social conditioning has a lot to do with this. People are taught from a very young age as to what experiences should be happy ones and what shouldn’t. Lose a job, then be desperate. Break up with your lover, be depressed and angry. Have someone make fun of you, get defensive and spiteful. Have a lot on your plate at work, be stressed. These reactions are so programmed to us that we actually feel guilty if we still feel good even though we lost a job, or had a break up or suffered some other ‘negative’ experience. It is important to realize that it is very much okay to feel good and not be affected by any of these said ‘negative’ experiences. You have every right to be happy. If someone close to you went away from your life, it is okay to get back to a normal life after the initial shockwave of grief. Remember that you have a right to feel good.
The power to feel good
Some people do not realize that they have control over their emotions. You have the power to feel good. The control is within you. Whenever something happens to you, you have the ability to consciously choose how you feel about it. Just because someone tries to offend you, doesn’t mean you will get offended. You can still choose to ignore it and be at peace. Between the stimulus and the reaction, there is a stage which lets you choose your reaction. Many people sadly forgo or forget this stage, and let negative reflexes take over. Once you regain your control over the situation, you wouldn’t be swayed by what happens to you. You would assume the power you were born with. When a stimulus is thrown at you, pause a moment and choose your reaction. That is really all you need to do.
Let me share with you how you can gain complete emotional mastery and always choose to feel the way you want to feel.
Go To Emotional Mastery - Part 2>>
