Do you listen to your spouse, kids, colleagues and friends? And by this, I do not mean pretend to listen, I mean give them your 100% and really hear what they have to say.

Listening is not a skill everyone possesses. Yet, it is a skill that can be developed if we are sincere in trying. Mastering this skill can rejuvenate our relationships, provide us with more knowledge and insight, and even earn us a reputation as a good conversationalist.

Since it is such a key element in our social life and yet so rare, being a good listener can open doors for us that we didn't even know existed. It is one of the skills that can make our company really enjoyable to others.

In this article, I am sharing six tips that can help us be master listeners.

Ask open-ended questions

You cannot even begin to listen until you get the other person talking. So, ask open-ended questions. This means you have to pick those topics and areas which would require the speaker to give a descriptive answer, rather than a short "yes/no" etc. You can ask the person about their interests, their day, their family, their work - anything that they love enough to talk about. It is just about asking the right question.

Be present

One of the most common pitfalls in listening is when we tune ourselves out of the conversation. We may grunt and nod in between, but our heads would be far, far away from the topic being discussed. We need to take an active interest in what is being said, and listen to it wholeheartedly. If the topic gets really boring for you, you can always use open-ended questions to guide the talker to a different area.

Be responsive

The talker always expects emotional responses from us. Laughing, expressing surprise, offering sympathy etc in all the right areas motivates the speaker and makes them feel closer to you. You can be responsive by selecting the appropriate comments and body language. By being a responsive listener, you make the speaker feel appreciated. It immediately creates a sub-conscious bond between you and them.

Be objective

Listen to what is being said, and not what you think is being said. Do not let our prejudices, insecurities or notions color the content of the conversation. Unless we can objectively assess a person's responses, we would never get the true state of things. It would be frustrating for a speaker if you always put your own spin on what was said. When you are not clear, paraphrase what was said, so that the speaker gets a chance to make themselves clear.

Mirror body language

A common technique to make the speaker feel in sync with the listener is to mirror the speaker's body language. Lean forward when they do, relax yourself when they do. With practice, these motions become so fluid that we don't even have to consciously attempt them. Mirroring helps establish a sub-conscious bond effectively.

Recollect

Perhaps the most important thing is to remember what was being said. And when you meet the speaker again, recollect the appropriate areas that he or she talked about. Hearing you quote them back to them is a very gratifying thing for the speaker. It makes them feel valued, and they will open up more readily the next time you talk to them.

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