10 tips to dramatically improve your conversational skills
Conversational etiquette is a wonderful tool in building relationships and improving the image you present to the outer world. Remembering a few quintessential yet oft-forgotten tips can help you go a long way towards personality development. Here are 10 tips to instantly improve your conversational skills.
1. Mind your volume:
Speaking too loud or too low is considered as a sign of a weak personality. When you want to convey a point, do so in a pleasant tone and comfortable volume. Remember that just because you shout, it doesn't guaratee that you are listened to. Also, when you talk too low that others have to strain themselves to catch your words, people quickly lose interest.
2. Mind your laugh:
A loud, boisterous laugh is a sure-fire way to annoy people. It is considered impolite and a sign of poor manners. Also, covering your mouth when you laugh is a big no-no. So develop a warm, friendly and appreciative laugh.
3. Do not interrupt:
When someone is talking about something, do not interrupt it with a 'wonderful' story of your own (think "Oh, something like that happened to me too!"). Always make it a point to let the other person finish. This can be accomplished with some practice.
4. Do not assume:
Some people have a tendency to finish others' sentences for them. I used to get impatient with slow talkers and finish their sentences with them when it seemed that they took too much time or effort. It took a conscious effort on my part to change it, and it has really benefitted me. Do not assume you know what they are going to say. The couple of seconds you wait for someone to finish their sentences will gain you a lot of good will.
5. Do not tune out:
People have a tendency to tune themselves out of conversations that do not interest them. This will cause their minds to wander on their own little world, and they will lose hold of what is being said. In most cases, the person talking to you will instinctively know that you are not listening to them, and feel really hurt and annoyed. It is very important to stay tuned when someone is talking or else you lose out on information and good will.
6. Really listen:
Listening is a great art and an essential tool for any great conversationalist. While this may seem paradoxical, most people feel that the good listeners are the good talkers. You need to nod along and convey that you are indeed listening by asking meaningful questions and expressing your interest. This is very vital.
7. Paraphrasing:
This is a wonderful tool when you need to ensure that both parties are on the same page. Many times, we hear not what is being said, but what we want to hear. And sometimes we unnecessarily read between the lines. This will cause information to be conveyed incorrectly. When you hear something, always tell the speaker what you heard in your own words. This is called paraphrasing. Now the speaker will know you were listening and also get a chance to correct you if you got the wrong idea. Use this technique when you speak as well. Ask the listener to paraphrase your words - tell you what they heard - and it will go a long way in improving your communication skills.
8. Do not whisper:
Whispering in public is considered very impolite and can easily alienate you from others. Always keep public conversations just that - public. Inside jokes and secrets won't make you any popular in a big group.
9. Watch your body language:
Non-verbal cues are as important - if not more - as the spoken word. Develop an open, sincere, positive and trust worthy body language. Maintain good eye contact as you speak. Clenched fists and extreme gesticulations won't win people over to you. And remember that a good body language stems from a good intent - so you need to be genuinely honest, open and trustworthy.
10. Watch your breath:
You may be a wonderful speaker and listener, but if you do not have fresh breath, you would notice a general thinning of population around you. So always watch your breath! :)
This article was featured in The Tenth Edition of the Carnival of Improving Life, Fourteenth Edition of Carnival of Inspiration and Motivation and Eleventh Edition of the Carnival of Improving Life.
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